Chapter 9 (How Do You Solve a Problem Like Uncle Joe?)
“Take it easy, blondie,” said Gordon. “I’m here to rescue you.”
“I beg your pardon?” said the Doctor, getting to his feet.
“Do you really think I enjoy this? Come on, Ringo, you know me,” said Gordon, looking at his fellow circus performer.
“You’ve never said anything. Not like Carlotta,” said Ringo. “You were always quiet.”
“Cos I like to tinker with the clowns,” said Gordon. “They are like…my friends.”
“Sad,” said Lilly. If she hadn’t felt so glum she would have laughed.
“Sad it may be,” said Gordon, “but fixing robots is what I do. When Clarence malfunctioned I knew things had to be stopped. Uncle Joe was going too far.”
“Ever since he started he’s been going too far!” said Ringo.
“I know, I know, but I realised that if a clown - a bloody robot - knew it was wrong, then what sort of a Human was I to turn a blind eye?”
“Good man,” said the Doctor, clapping him on the shoulder.
“We still don’t know where the kidnapped people are,” said Holly.
“Yes we do,” said Gordon. He pulled out a small device with an aerial on the top. “I’ve been tracking for Clarence’s signals for ages now, but then I realised we were only searching across the planet. We needed to look further.”
“And?” said the Doctor.
Gordon pointed upwards. “The air defence system.”
“Eh? Air defence systems?” said Ringo.
“You mentioned them when we first landed,” said Holly, remembering what the Doctor had said in the forest clearing.
“Yes, I believe the colony ship came with smaller, automated stations.” The Doctor looked at Ringo. “To protect the planet from hostiles.” He crossed to the door and looked up at the cold, grey sky, feeling the light drizzle tickle his nose. “There are a number of hostile races out there. Although the colonists wouldn’t have know it, as the centuries passed the defence system would have continued to protect them all from threats.”
“It didn’t protect them from Uncle Joe.”
“Not all threats are obviously threats,” said the Doctor, glancing at Ringo quickly.
“Look, can we just stop with all of this chatter and get on with getting off the planet,” said Lilly.
“We’ve gotta stop Joe first,” said Holly.
“I know that,” said Lilly angrily. And then she shook her head. “I’m sorry, Dangerfield.”
“It’s alright,” said Holly, “it’s just him.”
“You said you had a plan,” said Gordon.
“Well, sort of,” said the Doctor, “but it’s going to be very difficult.” He winced and rubbed his temples.
“You alright?” said Lilly, putting a hand on his shoulder.
“He’s just…very strong,” he said, sitting back down on the floor.
“What do you mean?” asked Holly. “Is he trying to get in your head again?”
“He’s been trying since we got locked away.” He blew air out of his cheeks. “Don’t forget, he’s psychic. I’ve been blocking him from probing all of our thoughts since we last saw him.”
“You can do that?” said Ringo.
“Time Lord,” smiled the Doctor, but he looked weary. “It’s taking an enormous strain on myself though.”
“I didn’t even think,” said Lilly. “He could have been listening in on everything we’ve said.”
“Don’t ever say I don’t do anything for you,” smiled the Doctor. He got to his feet again and steadied himself. “We need to get this done now, though.”
“So, your plan,” said Gordon.
“Yes, my plan,” said the Doctor, looking towards Ringo’s ear.
Owen continued to stare out at the field of stars that surrounded his planet. He wasn’t sure what he felt exactly. It felt like a mix of wonder and fear all at the same time, and it made him go weak at the knees.
Jane stood beside him and swallowed. “How?”
“Clarence obviously teleported us up here to get us away from the planet, but…what is this place anyway?”
“I’m scared, Dad,” said Elliot.
Owen reached down and lifted his son up, holding him tightly. “It’s okay, son,” he said, trying to sound braver than what he felt. “We’re…safe.”
He looked across the Clarence who was now standing in the doorway watching his rescued villagers. He looked at Owen and then nodded once. “Safe.”
Uncle Joe was still sat in the ring, his tentacles thrashing about wildly as three clowns circled him, squirting him with sprays of water to keep him moist. He was enjoying it, but one of the clowns accidentally squirted him in his large eye and he stopped moving, his tentacles freezing. He growled angrily, blinked the water out of his eye and then flicked a large tentacle out, knocking the culprit-clown to the floor.
“Fool!” screamed Joe.
“That’s no way to treat a clown,” came the Doctor’s voice as he walked out from the shadows, his hands in his pockets.
“You!” hissed Joe. “What are you doing free?”
“You mean you don’t know?” said the Doctor, leaning against a stanchion near to the seating area.
“I’ve been trying to listen in on you, but you’re blocking me,” he said with disdain.
“Naturally,” said the Doctor. “You don’t mess with Time Lords and win, you know?”
“No matter,” said Joe, “I have this planet now. At this very moment riots are beginning in the town centre and there is nothing you can do about it.”
“Why don’t you just leave? You’ve taken all of the happiness from this place. Just leave.”
“I intend to, as soon as I’ve taken the rest of you and your friends emotions.”
“Well, that’s where we’re at checkmate, isn’t it, Uncle Joe?”
“What do you mean?” he said, his eye blinking slowly.
“Well I can’t really let you go anyway,” he said, walking closer to Joe, but not enough that a tentacle could hit him. “And I also can’t let you stay here. If you stay then the people of this planet will never be happy again, but if you go then they descend into war. They need their emotions back, and only you can do that.”
“I don’t see any way for you to stop me,” said Joe, laughing.
“Hmm,” said the Doctor, going into his pocket and pulling out one of the inhibitors.
“There aren’t enough to go around the entire colony,” said Joe, scoffing at him.
“It’s not for the colony,” said the Doctor, holding out the inhibitor in his hand. “It’s for you.”
“What?” said Joe.
“From what Gordon has told me-”
“THE TRAITOR!” screamed Joe.
“From what Gordon has told me, they are worn by him, Ringo and by our late friend, Carlotta. They prevent their emotions from being absorbed by you so you can continue to enslave them.”
“That’s correct,” said Joe.
“So what would happen if I was to attach it to you?” said the Doctor, edging a little closer.
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing!” he said, but he sounded nervous.
“Are you sure about that?” he turned it over and over between his fingers. “Are you absolutely sure about that?”
Of course. They block our emotions from being taken. They inhibit. They would do nothing to me!”
“Unless you’re very clever and know how to reverse the effects.”
“I beg your pardon?”
The Doctor purposely left a long pause before he spoke again. The silence around them enveloped both the Doctor and Joe.
“I have reversed the effects of the chip. When - and I say when - I attach this to you it will cause all of those positive emotions that you’ve been harvesting to be expelled.”
“I could just remove the inhibitor.”
“You can’t do anything without the help of these clowns.”
“CLOWNS!” shouted Joe. “STOP HIM!”
The clowns stood to attention, but the Doctor shook his head and held up a finger. “The clowns are under Gordon’s control now,” said the Doctor.
“You can’t do this,” said Joe. “Have mercy.”
“Firstly, I can do this,” he said, as Joe’s tentacles began to flail about, attempting to reach the Doctor, “and secondly, this is mercy. Mercy to all of the people on this planet.”
He nodded to the clowns and they each advanced on Joe. His tentacles lashed out, but one of the clowns produced a syringe and managed to get close enough to inject it into Joe’s skin.
He lashed out again and the knocked the clown flying. “What are you doing? You’re killing me.”
“I’d never kill. Not when there’s another way,” said the Doctor.
Now Joe’s tentacles were starting to slow down their thrashing. His eye lid slowly opening and closing.
“You showed me something from my memories earlier on,” said the Doctor. “That psychic vision. It was something that happened to me a long time ago. I was meant to believe that I made a mistake. I buried it away for a long, long time, but I realised that I didn’t make a mistake. I saved people from a greater evil. That is what I am doing now.” Joe’s eye had almost closed. “Maybe I didn’t go about it the right way, but I’m doing this the right way now.”
“You…mean…that town…Jacarthia…?” said Joe, sleepily.
“You’ve seen my thoughts,” said the Doctor, as he fixed the inhibitor onto Joe’s sickly wet skin.
“You saved…those people…”
“I did indeed,” said the Doctor, removing his sonic screwdriver from his coat pocket.
“And they…punished you…for it…”
The Doctor nodded.
“And Jacarthia fell…” His eye closed.
The Doctor looked stern and resolute, and then pressed down on his screwdriver. “Jacarthia fell.”
Lilly and Holly returned to the town just in time to see Poulton running from an old woman with a large carving knife. He tripped over and fell flat on his face. He scrambled around for the nearest thing he could find - a huge chunk of wood that had been broken off from one of the stalls - and took a swing at the old woman.
“No!” shouted Holly in horror.
Poulton stopped. The old woman stopped. The pair of them frozen, their eyes staring blankly towards nothing.
“Has it worked?” said Lilly, looking at the other colonists. They were all standing still, mid-attack.
“Let’s bloody hope so,” said Holly.
And then every single one of the colonists jerked once and then collapsed to the floor.
“Oh, bloody hell,” said Holly.
Lilly raced to Poulton and got down to her knees, checking for his pulse. “He’s still alive,” said Lilly. She ran over to the old woman as well. “Granny’s still with us too.”
“Thank god for that,” said Holly, breathing a sigh of relief and sitting down on the wet ground. “The Doctor did it.”
“Yep,” said Lilly, “he always seems to.” She walked over to Holly and sat beside her. “How you feeling, Dangerfield?”
“A bit better,” said Holly, nodding. “I don’t feel like someone’s tugging at my head anyway.”
“Yeah, me too,” said Lilly.
The two women looked at each other and smiled. And then Lilly laughed, looking away.
“See,” said Holly, “it’s working already.”
Lilly shook her head. “The day I let a soppy, farming planet make me laugh and be happy is the day that I cease being Lilly Galloway.”
“Okay then,” said Holly, “I’ll start calling you Illithia.”
“Uh-uh,” said Lilly, holding a finger up. “No way.”
Holly smiled. “I think it’s a pretty name,” said Holly.
“Well maybe I’ll start calling you Holly, then.”
“Uh-uh,” said Holly, mocking Lilly. “No way. I’ve gotten used to you calling me Dangerfield.”
“Then that’s what I’ll keep calling you then, Dangerfield.” She smiled at Holly again.
And then she turned and started walking towards the centre of the market. “It’s not Uncle Joe’s outpouring of positive energy that’s made me smile, Dangerfield,” she said, her back still turned to Holly as she walked away. “It must be something else.” She turned back to Holly again and flashed her a smile, and then went to check on the rest of the unconscious colonists.
Holly frowned. She wasn’t exactly sure what was going on here, but she hadn’t felt that jolt in her chest before. Not even when she had met Alfie. But she was sure that it made her feel happy. It made her feel wanted.
Owen, Jane and Elliot were sat on the floor in front of the huge glass window when suddenly Clarence straightened up, his eyes flicking from side to side. They were bright and white, and then he turned to look at the people he had saved. His face broke into a huge - real - grin, and he started nodding.
“What is it?” said Owen getting to his feet.
“Safe,” said Clarence. “Safe. Safe. Safe.”
The Doctor was sat beside the sleeping form of Uncle Joe. He was deep in thought when Ringo and Gordon entered the ring.
“You did it,” said Ringo, still weary of going too close to his old master.
“Yep,” said the Doctor. He pointed towards the inhibitor. “If he ever gets this removed it’ll all start all over again. Don’t let that happen.”
“What about all the other planets we’ve visited?” said Gordon.
“I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do about them,” said the Doctor, sadly, “but at least Joe won’t be causing any more wars.”
“What do we do now then?” said Ringo, feeling lost for the first time in ages. “I was brought into this circus when I was just 14. I have no life.”
“Tell you what,” said the Doctor, getting to his feet. “Take Joe to a high-security prison somewhere. I’ll give you a few good locations if you want, and then the both of you give Carlotta the burial she deserves.”
“We will,” said Ringo quickly.
He began to walk towards the exit in the tent. “Then pack up your clowns, pack up your circus and get off this planet. Go and live your life.” He didn’t turn to look back at them. “I never want hear about Uncle Joe’s circus ever again.”
Ringo waited until he had exited and then sighed. “I’m sorry, Doctor,” he said sadly.
The Doctor was stood beside the TARDIS. It was raining now and he watched as the tiny sprinkles of rain peppered the outer shell of his time machine. He ran his finger through the raindrops and then sucked the water off the end of his finger.
He felt thirsty.
He felt angry.
Lilly and Holly emerged into the clearing followed by Owen, Elliott, Clarence, Kat and Heather.
“Owen wanted to say goodbye to us,” said Lilly.
“Goodbye, Owen,” said the Doctor, grumpily.
“Wait,” said Owen, frowning. “What’s wrong? I needed to say thank you.”
“Thank you for what?” said the Doctor.
“For saving us.”
“I didn’t save you,” said the Doctor. “Clarence did.” He nodded towards Clarence.
“Why didn’t he go with the circus when they left?” said Holly.
“Weirdly,” said Owen, looking at the clown. “He seems to have appointed himself as our protector.”
The Doctor nodded. “Every place needs it’s protector.”
“Safe,” said Clarence.
“Safe,” said the Doctor. He held out a hand to the clown. Clarence looked down at it, confused, and then took his hand. “Thank…you.”
The Doctor managed a weak smile. “Keep working on those words, Ronald,” he said. And then turned to go.
“Doctor,” said Heather, “is there something wrong?”
“No,” said the Doctor quickly. “There’s nothing wrong. Nothing at all.” He looked at Holly and Lilly. “I’ll be waiting inside for you two. Don’t be long, eh?”
He turned his back on them, opened the TARDIS doors and then went inside.
Holly turned to the collection of people. “I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s alright,” said Owen. “He’s had a rough time of it. It can’t have been easy holding back all those psychic probes from Joe.”
“No,” said Holly. “I don’t think it’s that though.”
“You’re right, Dangerfield,” said Lilly. “Joe’s touched a nerve there.”
“We better go and check on him,” said Holly.
Kat ran over and hugged Holly tightly. The group said goodbye to each other and then Holly and Lilly entered the TARDIS.
The Bensons stood back from the ship as the engines ground into life. And then, with a huge rush of wind, the box disappeared.
“Wow!” said Elliot, smiling. He was clutching his yellow ball under his arm, his other hand holding his fathers. “Can we go and play with this now?” he said, hopefully.
Owen looked at his son. This was where it had all started. And then he looked back at Clarence. “Safe?”
Clarence nodded and then smiled. “You…are…safe.”
In the TARDIS the Doctor was sat reading through a notepad, his feet up against the console. Holly looked across at him and then headed into the interior of the ship.
Lilly watched her go and then walked over to the Doctor. “Are you alright?” she said.
“I’m fine,” said the Doctor.
“Tell me,” said Lilly.
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously something,” said Lilly. She crouched down in front of the armchair and then threw a jelly baby at him.
He looked at her and laughed. “It’s just…Uncle Joe dredged up some old memories. Memories I’ve tried to forget.”
“About the Time War?” said Lilly. She’d heard him talk about it before.
“The War was so long ago now,” said the Doctor. “But, no, not the Time War.”
“Then what?”
He closed the notepad and put it in his inside pocket. “Jacarthia.”
Lilly looked down. “What is Jacarthia?”
“A town that I tried to save, but instead I mad things worse,” said the Doctor. He got up and crossed over to the console, tapping in a few coordinates. “Anyway, I think sufficient time has passed now.”
“For what?” said Lilly, turning to look behind her.
“To take Holly home. The Kro’Tenk are waiting. Time to say goodbye.”
And Lilly felt her heart sink.
The End
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