“Happy Christmas, darling,” said Helena Bradbury as he opened his eyes.
For a moment he wasn't sure of where he was and then that sinking feeling came again. He was still here. He was still trapped.
“I said happy Christmas, darling,” repeated Helena.
“What? Oh yes. Yes, Happy Christmas, Helena.”
Helena sighed and threw back the bed covers. She ran a hand through his brown hair and then kissed him on the lips. She looked at him for a good few seconds before touching the end of his nose. “I'll go and see if the kids are getting up yet.”
He watched as she put on her dressing gown and then turned to smile at him. She was truly beautiful. Long, dark curls and deep, brown eyes. He often wondered what he had done to deserve a woman like her.
And there was that sinking feeling again. He had done nothing. It wasn’t something he even wanted.
He turned to the window. It was still dark outside, but the clock said it was 7am, so it would at least be lighting up soon.
His first Christmas as this new person.
For a few moments he lay staring at the clock thinking about time; about all the travels he'd been on.
But he shook his head. That life was over.
Her name was Deanna, although she knew that it didn’t used to be Deanna…
Deanna was still asleep when the door opened, but she soon awoke when the light from the hallway outside streamed in.
“Happy Christmas, girls!” came her mums joyful voice.
“Happy Christmas, mum,” said Emma jumping down from the top bunk and kissing her on the cheek.
“What about you, Deanna?” asked Helena.
Deanna turned to her mum and smiled weakly. Then she got out of bed and crossed over to the woman and gave her a kiss. “Happy Christmas, Mum,” she said sadly.
“Cheer up, Dee,” said Emma, giving her a squeeze on the arm.
Deanna sighed as she looked down at her…sister. Yes, she thought. She’s my sister. But before she could reply to her the door burst open again and her younger brother, David came running in, presents gathered up in his skinny arms.
“Hey, slow down, David,” said Helena.
“Can we open our presents now, mummy?” asked David excitedly.
“Of course we can, dear. Just as soon as your dad gets up.”
“I'll check on him,” said Deanna as she brushed past her mum, Emma and the little boy.
She walked up to the master bedroom and knocked on the door. After a few moments she entered and found him sitting on the end of his bed putting his socks on. The radio was on and "Fairy Tale Of New York" was playing in the background.
“Deanna. Good morning.”
“Shouldn't that be "Happy Christmas, Deanna"?” she asked.
“Deanna, we have to try,” he sighed, “for the sake of your mum, your sister and your brother, we have to try.”
“I want my Christmas back home with my proper family,” said Deanna glumly. “Not with someone's idea of a family.”
“Well, as much as I hate to say it, Deanna, it's not going to happen. We're here now and there's nothing we can do. There’s no point in upsetting everybody else, is there? Now go down to your mum and I'll join you in a few minutes.”
Deanna sighed. “Okay, Doctor.” She turned to go.
“Oh, and Holly?”
She froze at her name. She hadn’t used the name Holly for a good few months now. It was buried with everything else she used to be.
“Don't call me the Doctor,” he called back after her. “It's Dad now.” He watched her leave and then dug into his pocket. He pulled out a long silver chain with a fob watch attached to it and closed his eyes.
Holly, or Deanna as she was now known, had tried her best to be happy, but it was getting difficult. For a while she'd completely forgotten all of her problems and felt like part of the family, but then she'd slip back into her thoughts again. Her thoughts of her real home and her real parents who would now never know the truth of what happened to her. And she’d never see them again. She’d never visit her granddads grave again. She’d never see Agatha grow up, and she’d never be able to say goodbye to her parents.
After they had opened their presents Helena went into the kitchen to begin preparing their Christmas dinner.
Deanna was sat on her own when Emma came back into the living room. The cat was playing amongst the discarded wrapping paper and Deanna was watching quietly. Emma sat down beside Deanna and put an arm around her. “You feeling okay?”
She looked at her younger sister. She couldn't believe how similar she looked to herself. “Oh, I'll be fine.”
“C'mon Dee, it's Christmas. We should all be having fun.”
“I'm trying to, I really am,” said Deanna.
“You and Dad are always so down on things. Anybody would think you didn't want to enjoy yourselves.”
Deanna turned to Emma. “Oh no, Emma, that's not the case at all.”
“Then what is the case?” asked Emma.
“It's too complicated…” trailed off Deanna.
“Oh, let me guess. Has Ian been messing you around again?”
“Ian? No, not at all. In fact he's been nothing but good to me. He bought me this necklace for Christmas,” said Deanna showing the golden chain with a locket on the end.
“Well what is it then? You were always happy, then a few months ago you both became…different. Sadder.”
Deanna felt like telling Emma everything, but then stopped herself. “Maybe I'll tell you one day.” She managed a weak smile.
“Do you think he’s the one?” asked Emma.
“Who? Ian?” Deanna laughed. “Nah! I’ve got my eyes on someone else. Trouble is I don’t think I’ll ever see them again.”
“Oh, who?” asked Emma, her eyebrows arching.
“Maybe I’ll tell you that one day as well, squirt,” she smiled.
For once, everyone was happy. The Bradbury family sat around the dining table. A turkey dominated the centre and decorations hung all around. The Doctor laughed out loud at some of the jokes that had been pulled from the crackers, and Deanna, Helena and Emma joined in. David just sat with his toy car trying to run it onto his plate. The Doctor and Deanna had forgotten their problems for now and things seemed right, although a little odd.
It was only when the lights started flickering that Deanna and the Doctor were brought back to their problems. Helena, Emma and David seemed to stop laughing, becoming frozen in mid-sentence whilst a blue light washed everything over. Only the Doctor and Deanna found they could move.
“What's going on?” asked Deanna.
“I don't know, Deanna,” said the Doctor.
A split appeared in the blue light in front of the dining room table. A woman with blonde hair emerged from the crack, looked around and then focused on the Doctor.
“Faith!” said the Doctor, surprised. “What do you want?”
“We've been observing you, Doctor,” said Faith. “I think you need reminding of the situation.”
“Tell Roger to stop spying on me. We don't need reminding of what's happened to us.”
“Really? Do you ever want to see your TARDIS again?”
“What?” The Doctor was lost for words.
“Do you want it back?” asked Faith again.
“Of course I do,” said the Doctor.
Deanna crossed over to the Doctor. “Now wait a minute, there's gotta be some catch in this. The TARDIS is gone. We did this for all of our sakes.”
“It’s not over, Holly. You can have the TARDIS back, leave here and never return.”
“Never return?” asked the Doctor suspiciously.
“Never return,” confirmed Faith.
The Doctor sunk back into his chair. “I understand,” he said sadly.
“What is it, Doctor?” asked Deanna.
The Doctor straightened up. “Faith, what would happen if we left Helena, Emma and David?”
She looked sad and blinked slowly. “Helena, your wife, would work herself into a depression whilst Emma would grow up into a life of substance abuse. Meanwhile, sweet little David would grow up into a miserable scrooge unable to understand why his father and sister left on Christmas Day.”
The Doctor sighed and shook his head. “You did this on purpose.”
“Indeed,” said Faith.
“That's cruel,” said Deanna.
“It wasn’t my choice. I’m just Roger’s messenger. You had to be made aware of the situation. You have a family now, Doctor, and you can't abandon them. You have to take responsibilities. You have to stay safe. The TARDIS has gone. Your old lives are over.”
“How can we go on? What about Lilly and Richard? Where are they?” said Deanna. She’d often wondered, but had been too scared to think too much about it.
“Unlike you they couldn’t bare to remember what they left behind. They have moved on.”
“So they don’t remember us?” said the Doctor.
“No,” said Faith, sadly. “Richard and Lilly no longer exist in this universe. They have gone forever.”
“If we give up. If we submit to this…then we will forget too.”
“You’re not the Doctor and Holly anymore,” said Faith as she began to step back into the split. “You shouldn’t even be here together. It’s too dangerous.” She straightened herself up. “You’re John and Deanna Bradbury. You have to start accepting that. It’s the only way you’ll ever be safe.”
The blue tint to their surroundings started to fade and Faith stepped back into the split. 'Goodbye, Doctor. We shall not meet again.'
With a crash everything sprung back into life. David was still playing with his toy car, Emma was firing off a party popper and Helena hugged the Doctor. The Doctor looked to Deanna and smiled sadly.
“Are you enjoying yourself, dear?” asked Helena.
“Yes,” said the Doctor, turning to his wife. “Yes I am.”
“This is going to be a wonderful Christmas,” she smiled and kissed him tenderly on his cheek.
He awoke. Tick, tick, tick…
The Doctor was lying in bed, the covers had been flung off him. He was still fully dressed, but he was covered in glistening sweat. He quickly swung himself off the bed and ran over to the mirror. He looked at his face and slowly his rapid breathing began to ease.
He closed his eyes and laughed to himself.
The door burst open and Holly ran in. She was out of breath and looked terrified.
“Are you alright?” asked the Doctor.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I had a dream.”
The Doctor’s eyes narrowed. “A dream?”
“I was…I was back on Earth, but with a different family. And my name wasn’t Holly anymore. It was Deanna. And there was this woman called Faith who said we had to forget who we used to be.”
“We?” said the Doctor, trying not to let on that he already knew.
“You were there.” She frowned and shook her head, not quite believing it. “You were my dad.”
“And where was Lilly during all of this?” asked the Doctor, sitting down next to her.
“This Faith woman said she was gone. Said she’d forgotten who she was. And they said another name as well. A man’s name. I can’t remember it now.”
“The dream is fading,” said the Doctor.
“But what did it mean?” said Holly, pleadingly.
“Nothing, I suspect.” The Doctor put an arm around her. She was still trembling. “The TARDIS has a way of enhancing things - dreams especially. It makes them all seem quite real, when they’re not at all.”
“Are you sure?”
“Have you ever met a family called the Bradbury’s?” he asked her.
She frowned. “I never mentioned the family name.”
He looked sheepish and then guided her up off the bed. “Bad dreams, Holly, bad dreams,” said the Doctor. He guided her towards the door. “Go back to sleep and in the morning you’ll have forgotten all about it.”
“But it was just a dream, wasn’t it, Doctor?”
“Of course it was, Holly,” he said. “Goodnight.”
“Night,” she said, turning and heading back into the corridor.
The Doctor crossed over to the mirror and touched his face. For a moment he thought he saw the woman - Helena Bradbury - standing next to him. And then she was gone.
“You never know though,” he muttered to himself. “The future is never entirely set in stone.”
The End?
Doctor Who: Resurrection returns in January 2016 with "Clarence".
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