Personal life has taken over continuing my "Future Worlds" series at the moment, but I hope to continue one day in the future. For now I fancied writing something very short and sweet as I was missing Holly and Lilly. This is just a very little piece, but it was nice to revisit the two characters:
The Stars are Not Enough
“I gave up the stars for you…”
Lilly Galloway closed her eyes as a light rain sprinkled down on her face. It was late summer and the air had turned cool, but the birds were still singing themselves to sleep for the night.
She opened her eyes and looked at the sky. It was a deep blue and a darker cloud was hovering just above her.
The garden was clear now, the guests having left a good half hour ago.
“You okay?” asked the voice from behind her.
Lilly turned. Standing in the doorway was Holly Dangerfield. She was already dressed in her pyjamas and dressing gown and was holding a half-empty wine glass. Her hair was tied into a ponytail and she had washed her makeup off.
“Just admiring the view. And the rain.” Lilly smiled.
Holly took another sip of her drink and stepped outside. “It’s raining.”
“So?” laughed Lilly.
Holly shook her head. “So you’re gonna get soaked.”
“It’s just a sprinkling.”
“Yeah, that sort of rain that’ll soak you right through,” said Holly.
“You Humans never make much sense when you say things like that.”
“Us Humans?” laughed Holly, raising her eyebrows.
Lilly laughed and took her hand, guiding her over to the small bench underneath the kitchen window, sheltered by an overhanging tree. It had been 18 months since they had both stopped travelling with the Doctor, and Lilly had started to embrace her alien-ness amongst the Human beings. She had never been shy of hiding away her true feelings, but after the death of her parents she felt free to forge her own path.
She was no longer the daughter of a psychopath and an ancient legend from long ago. When her parents had passed they had become the good people that they could have and should have been. She was at least grateful for that.
“You never make sense with your odd sayings,” said Lilly.
“Hey, you were one of us for a while, remember?” laughed Holly.
“Worst days of my life,” said Lilly, remembering her horror childhood back in Scotland with her adoptive family.
“But that’s over now,” said Holly, “and that’s why we have to always celebrate days like this. Days like your birthday.”
Lilly rubbed her hand. “I never enjoyed birthdays before.”
“And did you enjoy today?”
“I suppose so,” she said, winking at Lilly.
A number of friends and family had been invited to their house party. It had been a glorious, sunny afternoon. Holly’s parents and sister, Agatha, were there. Beth and Alistair from UNIT had come along as well as Roxanne, but Lilly felt a little melancholy. Even Richard Hicks had managed to get a message to her. But there were two people she would have dearly loved to have been there today over anyone else.
“You miss them, don’t you?” said Holly, sensing that Lilly’s mood had drifted slightly.
“Who?” said Lilly, knowing full well who Holly meant.
“The Doctor and Caleb.”
Lilly looked down at her bare knees and started picking at the edge of her denim shorts. Caleb and the Doctor were both dead. She’d found it hard to accept Caleb when he had passed, but the Doctor…that seemed almost impossible to believe he was gone.
“I miss them,” said Lilly. She looked at Holly. “I lost everyone that I loved. Even the ones I didn’t love.”
“You didn’t lose me,” said Holly, gripping her hand tighter.
“No, I didn’t,” said Lilly. “And I am gonna make sure I can hold onto you as long as I can.”
Holly smiled and put her arm around her, giving her a tight hug. After a few moments she broke away, finished her drink and then went inside her dressing gown pocket. “I have something for you.”
Lilly watched on as Holly took out a small, blue box. Her eyes widened and she suddenly felt very nervous.
She took the box from Holly and opened it carefully. Her heart was racing faster and faster as its contents were revealed.
And it wasn’t what she was expecting.
“It’s a USB stick,” she said, flatly.
“You look a bit freaked out,” said Holly, laughing nervously.
“Jesus, Dangerfield, I thought you were gonna propose to me,” laughed Lilly.
Holly laughed. “Daft sod. That’s my surprise for next year.”
Lilly looked up at her. She wasn’t sure how she felt. Was that hope? “Don’t tease me, woman.”
“Aren’t you gonna have a look what’s on it. It was on our doorstep this morning. No idea who delivered it or how it even got there.”
“Wait a minute,” said Lilly. She pulled out the cylindrical USB stick. “This isn’t a USB at all.” She held up the silver object. On closer inspection Lilly could see it had very tiny, ornate carvings etched into its surface. “This is a Vono-Stick.”
“A what?” said Holly, looking at it more closely.
“I saw them on Gallifrey. They’re like little video message things. You record something on them. Short and sweet. Little messages.”
“Then play it,” said Holly, excitedly.
Lilly looked at the Vono-Stick and frowned. “I don’t know who it’s from.”
“It’s your birthday, babe,” said Holly, “just take a look.”
Lilly blew out air from her cheeks and then nodded. “Can’t be anything bad I suppose.”
She pulled at the Vono-Stick and it came apart in the middle, the core of the cylinder glowing white-hot. She threw the stick to the ground and a life-size image of a man appeared.
A man that both women knew very well.
He looked tired and dishevelled, but there was no mistaking that infectious grin of his as he stood there in his jeans, shirt and grey jacket.
“Doctor…” said Lilly, her voice faltering.
As if almost responding to her he looked up and straightened his tie:
“Hello Lilly. Firstly let me wish you a happy birthday. I missed your last one, but then I was never very good at keeping track of these things. If you’re wondering where in my timeline this is…well, I’ve just left the Omega Arsenal and I’ve got to try and defeat the First Time Lord. Your mother…”
He trailed off and looked away before looking back at her:
“The worst is yet to come though. I need to say goodbye to you. I’m going to make it short and sweet because I think that’s what you need. I know you don’t want me to linger on anything. I hate long goodbyes. And I don’t think we’ll be seeing each other again. The Gallifreyan’s went up against Celestia back in the day and barely survived, so I doubt I’ll make it out alive.
But that doesn’t matter. Not really. What matters is you. You and the life you can build with Holly. And if you’re there, Holly, you’re the best thing that could have happened to this young woman.”
Holly turned to Lilly with tears in her eyes.
“Anyway let me cut to the point. I want to tell you something. Something that I was never able to tell anyone before. Even when you were going through all of that stuff with Caleb…I just couldn’t do it.”
He straightened himself up and cleared his throat. Lilly wasn’t certain, but he thought there may have been tears in his eyes.
“I lost someone too because of my actions. It was a long, long time ago. Many years before I left Gallifrey. I was…well, I was a little more reckless. I wasn’t concentrating on what I was doing and…well, because of my actions she died. My little Zianna….
Anyway. She died and I blamed myself for a long, long time. That feeling will never go away. Never. And it shouldn’t go away. It’s something that you will have to live with for the rest of your life. But what you can do is embrace that mistake. Embrace what you did and make that a force for good. That’s what I did. It took me a long time to realise it, but I grew up and I never made that mistake again. I lost people close to me, but I always did everything I could to save them. I used my mistake as a benchmark of what not to do.
Like Caleb will become for you, Zianna became a part of my past. But she’ll always be there and I’ll always fight on because of her.”
He paused for a moment, looked to his side and then ahead again.
“Listen I know these things only contain enough space for short messages so I’ll have to wrap this up. I’ve got an ancient legend to battle. If by some miracle, however, I do survive this and you ever, ever need me, this Vono-Stick is quantum tuned to me. If I’m alive…well, you find me.
I’ve gotta go and say goodbye to you two now. So take care - both of you - and please never stop believing in yourselves. Embrace life and live in it.”
With that the hologram flickered and faded and all was dark. The birds had stopped chirping and the sky was nearly black.
Lilly looked at Holly. “He never ever mentioned anyone called Zianna.”
“Too painful for him I suppose,” said Holly. “I wonder who she was.”
“I guess we’ll never find out.”
“Wait a minute!” said Holly, noticing a blinking red light on the end of the Vono-Stick. She picked it up off the ground and handed it to Lilly. “What’s this?”
“Shit, Dangerfield,” said Lilly, her eyes widening, “you heard what he said - this thing is quantum locked to him. His current self is more or less synced in with us. The light that keeps it active is still blinking!”
“I don’t…I don’t understand,” said Holly.
“If he was dead the light wouldn’t be flashing. The Doctor is still alive!”
“But…but his TARDIS blew up. He was gone.”
Lilly shrugged. “This is the bloody Doctor we’re talking about.” She shook her head, smiling in disbelief. “Oh, I knew you wouldn’t go out that easily, old man.”
Holly shook her head and then smiled, throwing her arms around Lilly. “We need to go. We need to get his location and find him right away.”
She turned to leave but Lilly stayed frozen to the spot. Holly was nearly yanked back. “No.”
“What do you mean?” asked Holly. “Don’t you want to go and find him?”
“Dangerfield - Holly - I gave up the stars for you. I don’t want them back. All I want is this back garden. All I want is this house. All I want is us.”
“But we could have that all back again. All of it.”
“But I don’t want it anymore.” Lilly sat back down on the bench. “I spent so long trying to find myself and I know that right here and right now I have everything I need.”
Holly nodded and took both of Lilly’s hands. “Are you sure?”
Lilly smiled. “One hundred percent.” Lilly looked up at the dark sky. “Wherever the Doctor is…he doesn’t need us anymore. He‘s living his life so we have to live ours. The stars are not enough. All I want is you.” She looked into Holly’s eyes. “I love you, Dangerfield.” She grinned wickedly at her. “And next time I open a box like that it better have a ring in it.”
Holly laughed and the two embraced.
Somewhere…far away…the Doctor was still holding on, dazed and confused as the TARDIS collapsed around him and water began to pour in faster and faster from the outside.
And the world continued to turn…
The End
